Hi
Thank you for reaching out. That takes guts
Based on what you have written it reads as classic alcoholic behaviour to me. In fact all of that is outlined in the AA basic text.
People have a pre conceived idea of what an alcoholic is, the reality is actually very different. People can hold down jobs, go a few days without it etc – the end result is always the same -it gets worse not better.
Often overlooked is the impact alcoholism has on the family and not just the alcoholic. What you describe is very common as your husband is only worried about drinking
There is help on offer for you and him if you want it with AA and Al Anon meetings
I can answer any questions you have as I am 12 years sober this year