Lindyloo, I’m so sorry things are not good. Its so hard, like watching your child from behind a glass wall drinking poison and setting fire to their life. It’s soul destroying, when all you want is for them to function and have a happy life. I’ve looked at rehab this last time round and spoke to 2 people that run facilities. They both said that you really have to find the moment when they are desperate to get clean. Something that has helped me, I started counselling with an addiction counsellor (not for my coffee habit) to help me to help my son. I do 30 min a week and I feel like I’m talking to someone who really understands what this is like for family members.
I really wish none of us were here going through this, it’s shit for them and for us. I really believe they will all win their battles, we just have to stay sane while we wait. I hope your son holds on to his job because having that framework is a real benefit if he can manage. My son plays computer games all day at the moment and I think the boredom is quite dangerous in recovery.
I know it’s hard but your son isn’t listening right now. Be there if he wants to talk but focus on what you can control at home.