Hi Bump,
I really know how you are feeling, and your right it is hell. It’s so good to have this Forum and be able to share with everyone on here, so glad I found it.
My Son is doing ok, but I think his mental health is not good, up one day and down the next, and all the while treading on egg shells, which is no way to live. Most of the time it is good, but on the times it isn’t, it takes me right back to the really bad times and I think my health is suffering from worrying and getting anxious.
I think we have to remember that none of this is our fault, very hard to do at times.
Enjoy the good times with your younger son, and keep going. I only hope that one day we can escape.
Take care.
Dx