hi ladies sorry for the delay to replying to the recent posts.
So sorry of the pain you are going through.
So to all tense and purposes I should be feeling better than I am about my sons situation. He is now 3 mnths clean and I am very proud of him for that and have made sure to tell him so, however he still treats me and his stepdad with such disresepect and unkindness especially if we say no to anything.
We lent him £50 at the beginning of the week and was promised that the next day he wld be able to access some money hed saved t opay us back……guess what…… yes
..have now been told it wont be until his next UC payment in a mnths time as he has spent his money.
So depsite being clean some of the issues still continue.
Where he is staying as part of a programme only lets them out at the weekend i told him last week we would not be arounfd this weekend. Today he calls and kicks off when i say he cant stay, the problem is he has history of breaking stuff, leaving stuff unattended in the oven, not locking up and leaving fridege and freezer doors open and so my husband dont want to go away and be on edge.
He has said that i am controlling and always try t control him….It upsets me that us having boundaries like saying no or not letting him live here when he was taking drugs or not always giving in to his demands is seen as controlling.
in fact we feel controlled by him, knowing if we say no to anything that he kicks off.
But i feel upset that where he stays hes actually telling the staff that I am controlling when all we are doing is trying to as much as possible stand up to him.
Does anyone else have this?
I feel so bad that we are now at a place where it looks like he is starting to turn things around and has been off substances the longest in a few years and i should feel happy and relaxed especially as so many of you are still having loved ones abuse their substances but still I have this stress and unpleasantness from him.
IHe makes me feel like the worst mum but yet I cant have him here every weekend as he always starts conflict and it will ruin evryone of my weekends if we allow him to.
Am i being unreasonable hes 22 yrs old?