Kate – I’m sorry you’re on your own with this. It may be worth trying to find a local family support group that you can talk to as well as posting here. I may have missed a post but am not sure what substance your son is addicted to, and you don’t have to say . My son is using heroin – so hard to stay off. There are others on this thread with sons having problems with street valium, which my son also dabbled with and turns them into zombies – terrifying, and coke being the most common and weed . My son has adhd and lots of issues with his dad, who just can’t connect with him. There is a book called something like In The Realm of Hungary Ghosts that says there is usually something unresolved in the life of an addict that they are trying to numb against. There also seems to be a strong correlation with incidents of adhd. Maybe at the moment your son is not very responsive to getting clean but are you able to talk about other things in his life that might be having a negative impact? Only you know your situation and what might help. I have found getting my son to talk about the things that bother him and trying to really empathise does seem to help. It’s hard to do when they are busy messing up their life and yours.
We are all here for you x