yep i get that too, even when hes not under the influence!!
Ive been told by several people and most importantly a ex alcoholic who now runs a rehab centre he said every time we do something to help them in their situation such as lending/giving money help with their jobs etc we are enabling them.
i think stopping helping someone you love is so hard but i do think kicking my son out and everything we have been through has maybe got him to the point when he was beaten up he realised his life had got so low he needed to change.
The irony is that he is very resentful to me though as he sees being kicked out of home as a massive betrayal and says i dont love him him unconditionally….well i hope one day when he matures more and his brain has hopefully rewired that he will see why we took the drastic action we did.