Hi Kate,
Try not to keep punishing yourself but I guess that’s what grief does, you search for answers.
There’s not a day goes by when I don’t think of you and your family.
You are a good Mum who did as much as you could possibly do, and it’s the evil drugs and dealers who are to blame, not you.
Let us know when the funeral is and perhaps we can all light a candle that day?
Take care of each other ????
Lx