Hi all
I have been quiet for a long time as I chose to bury my head in the sand for a while and float above the surface of reality. My son has been an addict for about 10 years and is now 27. His cocaine dependency has been a rollercoaster. But after lots of deceit, manipulation, lieing, stealing and total disregard for anything other than cocaine, for the second time in his life he has entered rehab. The first time was to please me and he now tells me he used the day he came out. He had managed to hold down his job this time but got into serious debt with dodgy scum bags. I refuse to pay them off any more, I have reported them to police all be it anonymously. This time he came out of his bedroom crying (again)and said, enough I can’t do this anymore and he’d referred himself to a rehab centre that is funded by universal credits. He has been there for 6 weeks and doing brilliantly, he’s adopted the 12 steps program and I pray with every fibre of my being that this time he will stay clean. The program is for 6 months and he can leave at any time but he wont get a second chance. there are lots of these centres around the UK that work on this basis, I had no idea they even existed!
He’s stopped blaming everyone else and admitted that he chose to use the first time because he felt like it and enjoyed it until the addiction took hold. He has no control over addiction but he can put things in place in his life to guide him through this and maintaining sobriety. I so so so want to believe he will be ok but the reality is we can never be sure.
From a young adult who was having seizures at the amount of cocaine he was putting into his body and not caring if he lived or died, I am immensely proud.
Addiction is a horrid disease and more needs to be in place to educate and help our loved ones. For all of those guys and gals on the street, they are someone’s loved one but addiction has gripped them and in some cases it just never lets go and the disease is too much to overcome. Shame should never be attached to this, it is a disease and the sooner this is recognised the better.
Stay strong lovely people and in all cases do what is right for you and yours, don’t be preached too.
For everyone that has lost someone to this dreadful disease, I send you love and pray that you have the strength to carry on and live your lives xxx
Last of all, thank you all for your love and support over the years, this is truly something that some people just don’t understand and for a long time you were my lifeline. Xxx