Bump- I’m very sorry to hear about your son- he’s gotten sober and at least he knows he can. But really I think of you and the stress of it all. It’s just so much- it’s like their addiction became our life sentence. I hate it and don’t want it. Do you ever wonder how many of these relapses you can take? I do.
My son emailed the family and now he’s saying that he’s had a seizure which is news to me. In his situation, this is entirely possible and of course, I was extremely concerned. This was his response after my husband (his step-dad) sent him a firm, but loving email that he needs to take charge of his life and start taking care of his problems and not expect others to do it for him or financially support him. He didn’t address anything my husband said, just the seizure.
I’m his mom- I reached out to him last night and asked him questions about the seizure and if he’s going to get looked at by a doctor. He said the seizure is not a problem, that the problem is simple and that it’s me and I’m wrong and when ‘love’ happens, I will start giving him my disposable funds because of his scenario. So I actually don’t even know if the seizure even happened or if he’s just doing his manipulating. There’s no “normal” conversation between us at all right now- I tried.
So then it makes me feel like I need to just step away. Everyone is telling me to do that and to tell him that he can contact me when he’s been sober a while. My head says, ‘do that!’ and my heart says ‘how?’
One of my daughters told me that they have lost me because I’m so consumed with his problems right now. I’m really trying, but it shows on my face and mood. That makes me feel terrible. My other daughter told me something similar. My husband said he’s worried about me because I can’t keep a straight thought. I don’t want to be like this for them- it’s not fair.
If anyone out there has had any success with letting go with love, I would love to hear how you managed it and did it help? Is the not knowing worse?
(Lindyloo- my faith has carried me too…????)