I am now separated from my husband.
He fled the country during one of his last binges (a few weeks ago), disappeared for a little over a week, and hurt himself badly. I told him he needed recovery before we could get back together. He refused. I told him if he came back without recovery, we would be done. AND… he came back without recovery, doesn’t want it, and doesn’t think there is a problem.
I absolutely lost it in anger, though ALANON says detach with love. I detached with rage, and I’m still so furious. My logical mind says, “how dare he not take our marriage seriously, how dare he not take me seriously, after everything I’ve done. But, the addict’s mind can’t love me the way I want or need.
I am so angry that this is what it has come down to. I am beyond furious. I lost myself in the past 3 years of trying to get him to quit. I am now just trying to do simple things for myself, like get dressed, eat, sleep. I am so depressed, sad, and angry. I give up. The addiction won and took my husband with it.