Hi all
thank you for your replies, I still can not understand why they do it or how they can change so much.
It feels so lonely and I am starting to think like you said, what did he really bring to our life, I was so happy when he did used to come for a day out but if I look at pictures (sad I know) he looked so sad, I can’t be anything but happy when our daughters around she’s 3 and a little ray of sunshine, her biggest problems are not being aloud chocolate ice cream for breakfast and having to go bed but otherwise she loves life.
I think some of it may be jealousy towards her as i think I did the same as you detached myself from him and give her more time but i had to be mum and dad, and try and pretend everything was ok and normal.
He’s given me and our daughter 2 months now to move out the house, he’s offered some money, which I’m not happy to take as hate the whole I’m nothing without him, to be out in 2 months, taking it is my only option really and my friends say I’d be stupid not too, but it’s a bitter pill to swallow.
Im not talking to his Mum as much as she told me I’m selfish, I should be doing everything to move out, the main reason is his sister wants her holiday let back and, even though he lived with his mum before we got together (when his first marriage broke down) I’m selfish thinking he could go there, I asked for up to 6 months as I’ve just started working and want to be in a better position financially to leave but 🤷♀️
He blocked me months ago on WhatsApp and changed his number so only communicates via his mum, the last message I did receive was saying how he knows we will be better off apart and how he’ll look back at our years together fondly, I’m not there yet, I hate him so much but know, which I haven’t told anyone, even after everything he has done he’d only have to cry and say how sorry he was and I’d go back. I know I shouldn’t as it wouldn’t be fair on the kids, my family and friends wouldn’t forgive me either.
I know I need to move on and know once I’m out the house it will be easier, I work from home, and actually have no life, I go bed a lot of days the same time as my daughter so am not sure how I’m ever going to meet anyone, or if I can really, I feel if I do meet someone it will be closure, they could never treat me worse and I need a bit of happiness, but that sounds so stupid
He goes up to Kent most weekends and has stopped working again, I feel like he’s moved on already and probably with someone he met in rehab the first time. I’ve mentioned before on here but he sent a selfie and she replied my baby, he left it on the side and I saw the pic and reply. I did say who the F is Natasha
I got no explanation re that he just picked up his phone and walked out for days, he didn’t apologise or anything, just made me out to be jealous and controlling
His sister said if he was having an affair he wouldn’t leave his phone on the side, and he’d said to her she was a friend, quite a lot older and he didn’t think of her that way. Why not just say that to me
I think in a normal relationship it would have caused a row but I was never aloud to question things as he may start using again, which meant he could literally do what he wanted and I couldn’t even have one night out or wake up in a grump, I even got told off for looking moody handing washing up
sorry I’ve gone on again but this does help, I just sound mental if I say this to my friends, I go from still loving him to remembering how bad it was, it’s so hard xx