<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi all</p>
we all sound like we feel so similar. The actions and words don’t add up do they But I guess it’s because they are so conflicted too and then the manipulation that comes with it. God it’s draining!
I’ve watched put the shovel down, it’s good also there’s a page called till the wheels fall off or TWFO, they’re on YouTube, tik tok and full podcasts on podcast app. They’re a couple where the male was the addict and they help partners of addicts and talk very honestly in the podcasts. He talks about the fact he was abusive and manipulative etc and she expresses how she’s recovered from his addiction etc
I need to start Co anon meetings again, I’m on step 4 and work with a sponsor
my partner been out house for 9 weeks now. I haven’t let him back as I couldn’t deal with the cycle anymore. I thought he may see sense and hit rock bottom quick but to be fair he’s living his life at rock bottom and his rock bottom apparently has a basement.
he’s sleeping in peoples houses and in his car and I know he’s really hurt by me
but his behaviour was out of hand
He wants to come home but he’s not started any recovery again this time so that’s been my line but he’s saying that because he’s no where stable to live he can’t get well which is true but he had a home and still didn’t remain sober for any lengths of time.
hes not reaching out to anyone in CA or following up rehab application
I’m really worried about him and have been able to learn that I’m not responsible but at same time a part of me feels responsible as he’s lost so much family due to traumatic bereavements.
I’m so scared he will be next and so is he.
I offered to take him to hospital when he called today, he declined
I’m really stuck as to what steps to take as I’m so scared for his life but want to protect myself at the same time.
A part of me feels cruel but I’ve been here so many times and it makes u lose your mind
xx