Well done to all of you who have recently stopped – it’s a huge achievement.
No news is generally bad news my end. I’ve been reluctant to post because I am far from the poster child for becoming free of this shite.
Long story short I quit around March and it was truly grim. I lasted 4 around months but then took a one off dose of 4 1/2 N+ (which equates to just under 60mg of codeine so in my warped mind I justified it as that’s a regular prescribed dose}. Although I enjoyed it, I felt so guilty that I stopped again and hoped it really was a one off. However for the past 6 weeks or so I’ve been doing it once or twice a week. I last took 4 1/2 N+ last Tuesday and it just made me feel nauseous but insanely I just know I’ll do it again.
I’ve a long long history of detoxing and relapsing so I should know better but I just can’t ever seem to get to a point of complete abstinence, I’m also well aware that it’s such a slippery slope and before I know once a week can very quickly turn in to multiple times a day with ever increasing amounts.
So hey ho that’s where I’m at. Not good at all. The guilt and shame I feel is tremendous but sadly not enough to overcome the lure of codeine – all be it occasionally at the moment.
Good luck to everyone who is starting out. It’s so so hard but apparently worth it – I’ve just not got that far yet!
Much love 💕