The updates on this thread have made me realise a) I’m not unique in my experiences, b) I need to go to counselling too and c) I’m at serious risk of losing the plot if my brother doesn’t leave the family home. As I type this, he is in our disabled brothers room passed out drunk at 9:30pm after drinking super strength cider since 8:00am this morning.
He starts off jovial, then irritating, then just volatile, nasty and making up perceived slights to justify stomping in and out of the house because all the beer is finished. He then goes out to his ‘mates’ to use brown. The same mates who got him bottled by a dealer a few weeks ago.
Another Christmas ruined no doubt. I just don’t know how much more I can take.
The local drug and alcohol service have been dangling a 21 day detox programme in front of us for weeks! There have been a further two police call outs since the first one I mentioned a few months ago, culminating in not much. The person who can arrange for this degenerate to go to rehab and get re-housed is apparently on annual leave.
My Mum is now at the stage where, if she speaks, she’ll probably cry. He pretends he isn’t the issue but he really is because the atmosphere is lighter when he isn’t around.
Our sister at uni refuses to speak to him when she is home.
Our disabled brother just tolerates him but is tired of being goaded day to day.
Everyone else is just literally walking on eggshells because sober or not, there’s no telling what will set him off.
It will be such a shame if my Mum has to leave in the night whilst he’s away as she has a lot of memories in this house, but this is becoming a very real option. She is in her early 60’s and should be relaxing now. Instead she is playing referee in her own home for a son who neither loves or respects her.
It’s quite apparent what he thinks of us all, and I just can’t pretend to tolerate him anymore.
I haven’t got him anything for Xmas as he basically lives off us all for free the other 364 days of the year – so that’s my gift (the broadband, gas, electric and food I pay for whilst he talks to me like I’m a complete and utter c**t).
Interestingly, all his rudeness and bravado and talking himself feigning mental illness disappears as soon as a family friend (who is built like a brick sh*t house) basically tells him what a waste of life he is and how he should be ashamed of how deeply he has descended into addiction and let his Mum and sisters pay for everything and take care of the family. He tends to sober up pretty quickly after that.
It’s actually pathetic, and clear what a nasty bully he is on top of everything.
I know I’ll never meet any of you but I just want to say thank you for posting your stories because it makes me feel far less f**king hopeless than I already do. Wishing you all strength and peace over the festive period.