<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi Roo, I hope youre alright mate. Im so sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you.</p>
Reading everything you have been through there is alot to unpack. Please forgive me its been a while since ive been on here replying to someone so I guess ill start how I used to by saying, im by no means a professional but I have lived through active addiction and have experienced the destruction it brings with it. Anything I say will only be based on my experiences and opinions.
Where to start… in all honesty this doesnt sound so much like a drug addiction problem, although it clearly has contributed to the problems but ultimately, the man you have described above really has not treated you in a way that you deserve. I will be the first to defend anyone suffering with addiction, but it can not be used as an excuse to mistreat people.
To answer your question, does cocaine make people act this way? Yes. The paranoid behaviours are very common with cocaine abuse, however I would also suggest maybe a guilty conscious plays a part. Because he has been with the other girl he would be paranoid you would be doing the same with a man. Slashing your tyres is completely inexcusable regardless of his addiction.
The back and forth, with him, the trying to by you drinks etc and offer you money sounds more like controlling behaviour thay he still wants to belive you are his and im sorry to say that if you allow this to continue he will belive its working.
What’s hard for me is to give you advise on what to do next because I’m not qualified to do so but also I have to take into consideration what you want but if im honest, I would say. You should distance yourself from him, focus on yourself and hopefully find a man who will respect you and treat you the way you should be treated. I understand though aswell that he sounds like the type that would not just accept that and leave you to move on with your life.
If you love him and truly do want a future with him. The first thing you need to do is establish boundaries. The cheating obviously can not continue and you will need to work out with him how you can rebuild the trust.
Secondly the addiction part, anyone suffering with active addiction will need support when becoming sober. You will need to be able to communicate with each other honestly about how you are both feeling and work through it together. Going to the pub etc will need to stop but this may also help you both find new things to do together with him sober that could ultimately rebuild your bond. Things as simple as going for a long walk somewhere nice on a sunday afternoon or cooking together each evening.
Im hope some of that helps and please reply if you want any more specific things to talk about.
I really do hope youre okay, please look after yourself and always remember thay you deserve nothing less than love and respect.
Sending love
Stay safe
James x
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