Ladies sorry to read these posts.
It really is a struggle isnt it.
I mean if life isnt hard enough juggling an addict can make it feel impossible.
This time 2 weeks ago as my husband just said he was hunting the streets of london for my son this week we have had covid again it seems there is always something.
I feel grateful he has stayed sober now for 12 days especially during covid in the house because as we know when the craving gets toi much I had visions of him leaving the house and then the guilt of knowing he could spread covid and ructions in the house. Of us trying to not let him leave.
Ridiculous as it is I wish I didnt care what the neighbours think but I do care because I have to live in this community I have fellow mums at the school and I often feel ashamed to walk out the door.
I worry what people know and gossip about me..I’d love to be the sort who doesnt give a stuff but I do and mainly as I worry for what impact that cld have on my younger son.
Silly in the grand scheme of things. I feel a failure I find all this has affected my own self worth..I know it’s not my fault and I know I’m a good caring mum but still I feel like an epic failure.
Does anyone else have those thoughts.?