Hello my friends, I was just thinking of everyone and wondering how everyone’s sons are doing and how you are all dealing with Christmas. Fortunately, it is a busy time of year and has many good distractions too. For me, I usually get a little down about this time knowing that things in my family are not great. My son has been out of the hospital for detox and Covid for about a month now. I’ve been in communication with him mostly by text. He ‘seems’ sober although I am very disappointed that he has not followed up with the program that was recommended to him at the hospital. He waited weeks because he said they would call him (which I don’t think is true) and he said he called them the other day and got a voicemail. I don’t know if he did or not or is just saying what I want to hear. He has been spending the majority of time trying to figure out a way to continue his PhD program so he can continue the student loans- his source of income which is terrible.
He has expressed that he is lonely. I told him that I would like to see him before Christmas. It’s too soon for him to be at a family gathering. I’m pretty sure it’ll be too much for him and then he’ll probably relapse. He goes between saying that he is sorry for what he’s done to the family, to the family should apologize to him for judging him for being an alcoholic (which is not true). And how stressed he is that he could be homeless in less than a month. And yet I don’t see him doing anything to stop that from happening.
I’m very frustrated and a bit angry too. I want to see him and I don’t want too. He’s done a lot of crappy things to me recently ( and for years) and it hasn’t been that long. I’m wary of him. I’ve asked my sister to go with me so I’m not alone. His sister at first agreed to go and now she said she changed her mind.
And there’s always the dilemma of what you buy an addict for Christmas. They don’t really want anything but money which he’s not going to get from me. I’ll come up with something like clothes etc., but I know he could care less about clothes. books, gift cards. I’ve bought him gift cards to grocery stores before, but now they all sell alcohol and I don’t want to contribute to that.
I hope you’re all holding up okay and feeling some joy in this holiday, I’ll be loving on my darling grandkids. ❤️????????