i am experiencing the exact same thing. my husband passed days ago. it feels like my heart is literally breaking. before the alcohol he was truly one of the finest human beings there was. it’s been a horrible 5+ years. my biggest regret was that my two daughters watched their father slowly take his own life. if i left (really had nowhere to go) i felt like i was giving up on him/us. staying with him till the end definitely left it’s scars on all of us. not sure if i know how to live without all the worry.
