joanie59 I’m sorry that you have this burden to carry at this point in your life. It seems that your son has put an unfair burden on you that he’s sober only when with you- that’s a lot of pressure for you. I don’t know what I would do. I’m very tired of my son’s 10 year alcohol addiction and I’m really wanting my life to be going in a different direction. It’s so consuming. I was searching for a picture yesterday for something unrelated, and I can see the decline of both of us frankly. His looks have declined and I can see the wear and worry on my face. It’s done now and I can’t change it. There’s no erasing the years of pain.
And we’re still on the same course with him. He’s been doing fairly well, having periods of sobriety, yet I’m starting to see him slip.
For those of you who have followed my story, I’ve been a bit of wreck because I was approaching my son running out of money and saying that he’d be on the streets soon. Well, he got an extension from the dean at his university, which basically means that he has financial aid until spring- which just adds to his monumental student debt. I guess it’s a breather for me for the impending disaster, but it really just postpones it. He keeps saying it’s a new year for him and he will not squander this opportunity and that he’s sober, when I know he’s not by his behavior. I don’t see him that often, mostly just texts and phone calls.
I don’t know about you all, but I really hate pretending that everything is just normal and just fine when you’re around them when they have a moment of sobriety. It seems like they just want you to forget the past of 10+++ years!) and just go on. I feel how my heart is guarded when I’m with him.