????Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! ???? Although, it isn’t fully happy is it? Holidays never really are. You make the best of it.
joanie59- I’m worried about you. It seems like you are under a great amount of stress even though your son seems to be doing fine. Somehow that just doesn’t seem fair. You deserve to have your own life. I hope you can find the strength to get back to your own life and your partner and all the things in your life that lift you up.
My son is drinking again. My birthday was last week and he texted me and said he’d like to go to lunch. I said sure, but I never count on anything because he seems to often set a plan with me and then cancel- and we know why. Well, he called me about a 1/2 hour before we were supposed to meet and he didn’t sound sober. He said he dropped his phone and it was not working properly and seemed distraught about it. I finally said in the nicest way I could, that he didn’t sound like himself and I would prefer to see him when he is more “himself”. I just don’t really like being around him when he’s intoxicated- it’s too strange. We talked for a while and he cried and said how sorry he was over and over and that he doesn’t understand why this addiction happened to him and that he wishes he didn’t live in a country that is so capitalistic. ????? See what I mean? I can’t tell you how many phones he’s lost or broken by dropping them- at least 8+. I talked to him and then said let’s get together when he’s more “himself”. Birthdays have been so bad for so many years. I tried to focus on all the good people in my life and felt lots of love, but as we all know, with a sorrow in my heart- always.
I’m sharing this quote with all of you. I don’t even know where I found it, but I cut it out and pinned it up, so I’ll remember:
“You have one life to live and you get to choose how to live it and who you surround yourself with. As harsh and callous as that might sound, it is most probable that it is the only way for you to have a meaningful, fulfilled life. Addiction and dealing with addicts is a full-time job that requires more time and energy than most people have in a lifetime. This all-encompassing pursuit will suck the life out of you and leave you empty, depressed and hopeless if you let it. Sometimes, the best course of action is to start a new life and get as much joy and happiness you can muster for the heartbeats you have left. The choice is always yours to make. The best decision you can make is to let go of any false guilt you have concerning any dysfunction of your past concerning addiction and surround yourself with people who build you up, support you and love you for who you are, not what you can do for them. Detach with love, wish them well, and pray for them. It is not your responsibility to save them or the world. The best thing that could ever happen for you or them is to save yourself, so that you are a living testament that hope of a better life is still alive in the world.”
Hugs to all… ????