Heyaa,
My story is similar to yours. I have read stories all over the internet desperately searching for happy endings to give me some form of hope ! But in all honesty the happy endings and few and far between. It’s rare to come across the happy ones. Most end in relapse.
My husbands pattern is 6 weeks clean then a bender. Then 6 weeks clean and then back to cocaine. He went to the doctors after his last bender and was prescribed anti depressants. We are currently week 4 so I’m preparing for the next 2 weeks. But even if we get to the next 2 weeks I feel it’ll be a life looking over my shoulder waiting for the next slip up.
My only advice I wish I’d followed is get him to leave and say you will wait for him to get clean and get professional help. Have no contact and if he gets clean it’s a win for all. If he spirals into his addiction he was never going to get clean and you’ve saved yourself more heartache. I never used to understand the whole enabling thing, I used to think the fact I kicked him out, gave him no money ect was ticking all the boxes. When in fact I did enable him because I stayed. He was allowed back after a argument and apology. It was enabling. Which is why next time he will be leaving and not coming back.
Sending you strength and love xx