- This topic has 8 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by emjay.
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February 19, 2022 at 6:50 pm #7296buzz25Participant
Hello
I’ve never been on a forum like this so I’m a bit nervous.
I don’t know who to reach out to for advice.
My husband of nearly 8 years (been together for 20) has become addicted to cocaine. He has always smoked weed and occasionally likes a few beers but the last 4 years since I had my youngest daughter he’s been so different, the cocaine has really been bad the last 2years , financially we are at rock bottom, we can’t even talk with our arguing , he blames me for everything and I have finally asked him to leave he’s keeps saying he’s going to change but he never does and it’s all just broken promises, I just don’t know what to do , we have 3 children and it’s starting to effect us all as a family now .
Will he ever change? Has anyone had anything good come out of there marriage with an addict ? Can it be saved ?
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February 19, 2022 at 7:54 pm #27216emjayParticipant
Hello,
I’m so sorry that you and your children are going through this.
In my experience .. No! I too am still searching for recovery successes.
Cocaine addiction is soul destroying for the addicts loved ones.
Over a decade I tried to support my husband. We are separated now. (It’s the best thing I ever did… leaving) It’s so hard loving an addict, I lost myself. He destroyed me as a person. My children were suffering.
Put you and your children first. His priority is cocaine at this point. Maybe he needs to loose everything to make a change?
In my experience losing his wife and being drug tested to see his kids was still not enough to stop.
I honestly wish you success, strength and love.
Loving a Cocaine addict is hell on earth.
Stay strong xx
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February 20, 2022 at 12:23 am #27220joanie59Participant
Hi buzz 25
I understand you are nervous about posting on here
But we are all in the same boat searching for answers to help addict we love
I never thought I would know anyone with a cocaine addiction
My granddaughter had been with this man for 14 years 3 married to him
The absolute love of her life
A nicer guy you couldn’t wish for
Both had good jobs and they had a baby last year
He was sleeping in the spare room while the baby was tiny and ordering Coke to be delivered to the house and started an affair with a fellow cocaine user
She chucked him out when the baby was 8 months old
Still wanting the best for him and blind to the seriousness of the situation she has just given him half their savings which was over £3000
Because he wanted to clear some debts
I have fallen out with her and feel lost and angry that she can’t see what he wants this money for
I’m dealing with her alcoholic father which is a whole different story
So I agree with Emjay it’s hell
Try to get out if you can
X Joanie
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February 20, 2022 at 6:57 am #27221emjayParticipant
Marcos007.
It’s great you can share your story and support addicts loved ones by acknowledgement of the pain addiction causes.
You openly stating your a drug dealer, make money and live the best life is an absolute insult to us all.
Without addicts no dealers, without dealers no addicts.
You personally are contributing to addicts families pain. AND your proud of that??? You were an addict, you suffered your father’s addiction. But because your such a successful Drug dealer its ok?
Good luck with your recovery, I hope you go to prison for your successful drug dealing business.
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February 20, 2022 at 8:09 am #27223louisehParticipant
Heyaa,
My story is similar to yours. I have read stories all over the internet desperately searching for happy endings to give me some form of hope ! But in all honesty the happy endings and few and far between. It’s rare to come across the happy ones. Most end in relapse.
My husbands pattern is 6 weeks clean then a bender. Then 6 weeks clean and then back to cocaine. He went to the doctors after his last bender and was prescribed anti depressants. We are currently week 4 so I’m preparing for the next 2 weeks. But even if we get to the next 2 weeks I feel it’ll be a life looking over my shoulder waiting for the next slip up.
My only advice I wish I’d followed is get him to leave and say you will wait for him to get clean and get professional help. Have no contact and if he gets clean it’s a win for all. If he spirals into his addiction he was never going to get clean and you’ve saved yourself more heartache. I never used to understand the whole enabling thing, I used to think the fact I kicked him out, gave him no money ect was ticking all the boxes. When in fact I did enable him because I stayed. He was allowed back after a argument and apology. It was enabling. Which is why next time he will be leaving and not coming back.
Sending you strength and love xx
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February 20, 2022 at 9:39 am #27225joanie59Participant
To Marcos
What are you doing on the site
Are you searching for customers
You say you are rich
But your soul is poor
We are all respectful on this site
But I’m struggling with you
I hope your children don’t follow the pattern you and your father are showing them
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February 20, 2022 at 10:54 am #27228lindylooParticipant
Well said Joanie!
There are families here who have lost their loved ones to this evil drug and the people who supply it.
There are no words to describe how I feel.
Sending all you families my thoughts and prayers. To the people who are addicted and people in recovery- I pray God gives you the strength to fight the evil that is addiction.
Lx
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February 20, 2022 at 10:25 am #27226emjayParticipant
Marcos007.
It’s great you can share your story and support addicts loved ones by acknowledgement of the pain addiction causes.
You openly stating your a drug dealer, make money and live the best life is an absolute insult to us all.
Without addicts no dealers, without dealers no addicts.
You personally are contributing to addicts families pain. AND your proud of that??? You were an addict, you suffered your father’s addiction. But because your such a successful Drug dealer its ok?
Good luck with your recovery, I hope you go to prison for your successful drug dealing business.
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February 20, 2022 at 2:50 pm #27230emjayParticipant
Marcos007
You are on the wrong forum. This is for families and loved ones of addicts.
If you need support for guidance for addiction you need to explore other sites. There are plenty.
Your making more excuses. Glamourisng drug dealing.
Justifying who you deal to infuriates me. So your an upper class dealer! Well done you. What an achievement. Why the hell would you think that’s OK.
Our loved ones aren’t street addicts. They are parts of families. Sons, brothers, sisters, daughters, partners, and parents!!!!!
I hope the cartels screw you over and you end up in the worst prison. To boast about working with these people makes me believe you are just a little fish in a big pond. Let’s hope you get eaten up.
Seriously, you are in need of super help. If you think what you wrote is exceptable please leave and let us each help people that deserve and need it. THE LOVED ONES OF ADDICTS. not dealers.
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