Hi Purpleheart and others
I’m in the same boat here in 2022. Been dealing with this for about 4 years but as a serious addiction since the beginning of 2020. I’m at the end of my tether too.
It’s my partner who is the addict. Partner is a term I use loosely as he is my child’s father whom I live with… but the relationship has pretty much imploded due to his addiction and I am trying to move. I have been bidding on properties for 6 months… just trying to hang in there.
He used to use cocaine but someone taught him how to turn it into cocaine you can smoke/inhale. Crack basically, and that is when all hell broke loose. He is extremely addicted to doing this. He is a shell of the man I once knew. He has developed severe mental health issues since… I mean totally unstable mood, suicide attempts, severe paranoia, depression, insomnia…
He is selfish… got us into terrible debt. I can’t trust him with money at all.
I just found that out yesterday – I gave him the money to pay a month overdue family bill (for services we all use and rely on and it was his responsibility to pay it) as he had spent the original money for the bill on drugs. I came home to find him high… I asked him if he’d paid the bill and he said ‘some of it’ and implied he’d spent some of the money on another bill that needed paying… I am convinced he used part of the bill money to pay got drugs as he has no other money so how’d he get the drugs?
I’m livid but I have no voice. I cannot confront him about it. It would not go well. What has made me so upset is that I earnt that money doing freelance work. I’m disabled and ill and it takes a lot for me to do any work. I gave him nearly all the money I earnt bar 20 for food shopping and he had around 16 for drinks and cigarettes. I feel like a mug!
Every time I go away for a few nights to save my own sanity I come back and he’s ransacked the place (it literally looks as if we’ve been burgled) and it stinks of cigarettes (which I hate) and the kitchen is a mess because he never does any washing up while I’m gone. I can see exactly how he will be living when we are no longer living together. I will still have to be part of his life as I am going to have to facilitate child contact. The only way our child will be able to spend time with him is if I am there… he’s not fit to care for our child like this!
I just wanted a nice quiet, stable family life and instead I’m dealing with this. I can’t wait to get out.