Well if you’ve read some of my other posts you’ll notice my husband is a cocaine addict. I’ve tried countlessly to help him, he agrees at times he has a problem and says the brain tricks you into thinking it will be ok. He has had to move 3 hours away from us because his drug use and behaviour was so bad over Christmas social services got involved.
I made the decision he should go and live with his mum 3 hours away to get help down there, away from us. He was addending nearly daily n.a meetings for the first week then started work Monday this week. The meetings over the last week reduced, when I was sending him info on apps that are supposed to be good at stopping useage etc, he didn’t bother to look at them.
Then last night when he was texting me his texts weren’t making sense, I asked him to send me a photo of his eyes and his pupils were huge! He denied profoundly searing on our kids lives he hadn’t touched anything and saying he wouldn’t lie to me as this time is was going to be different. Well he was supposed to be at work at 8 but I found on his YouTube history he was up til 4am watching music videos. I confronted him this morning and he said he’d taken 2 pills. I was livid!!! He could be lying and it could still be coke, but if he’s not why the hell would you take pills? That is not sounding like someone who wants to change their life and wants to do all he can to get back to his family, is it? So I’ve ended the relationship, I’ve gone above and beyond for that man! His behaviour now is so unpredictable, he’s only been down there a week and has already found means of getting whatever it is he actually took, so he’s gone out there looking hasn’t he?
I can’t do it anymore, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help can you? I don’t know how I even feel anymore. Ages ago I’d have threatened it to see if he’d beg me to come back now I don’t want him to! I feel that he’s an idiot who can’t be saved! He’s missing out on life, he’s not gonna see his kids grow up and we have a 3 month old baby that’s not gonna know her dad. How can a doting father now become just a shell of a man? He literally has nothing about him anymore!