Joanie- I am so very sorry to hear this. After all you went through to try and get him past this. I can only hope that this is just a temporary relapse for your son. I just don’t understand the mind of an addict, how they can come so far and then go back to the very thing that is ruining their life. I guess I’ll never know or understand it fully. The pull inside their brain must be so strong, and of course, it’s a pattern and behavior for coping with things that is so ingrained, that they go right to it- at least my son does.
My son has been all over the place. He’s been trying to wean/taper and it didn’t work, so he ended up at the hospital again yesterday morning. The tapering is such a terrible idea anyway because how can you expect an alcoholic to moderate their drinking when every other time they can’t? My son is on the state medical care so it’s basically free when he does these hospital visits. If he had private insurance or no insurance, he’d probably not go and would probably have passed away by now from withdrawal. I admire the ER nurses/doctors who see this over and over again and have to be professional and caring.
My week after Easter was bad too. I knew my son was doing bad. He texted me that his phone wasn’t working and that it was about to die and wouldn’t charge. On Monday, I said I would take him to the Apple store. I went by his place and he texted me to cancel. I went up and knocked on his door and he was a drunken mess and so was his apartment. He cried and just looked awful. He’s so skinny. He’s down about 35 pounds from last year. He said he doesn’t eat. I have brought him food and some was still in his refrigerator. I messed with his phone a bit and it had blood on it and that’s why it wouldn’t charge. He didn’t know where the blood came from, he said maybe he had a bloody nose. He couldn’t seem to figure out his phone on his own- his critical thinking skills are zero. I brought him more food a few days later and when he came down to the car, he was so weak he could barely walk. That was Friday and by Sunday morning he went to the hospital. I was relieved for about a second, because this is the madness of it. I’ve spent the last few days very depressed and teary. I feel like I’m watching him die and I can do nothing.
I’m sorry that you all got Covid. I can’t believe I haven’t gotten it yet- knock on wood. It’s coming for all of us at some point.
Joanie, I hope you can get some rest and take care of yourself while you are sick. The brain never rests though does it? You are good mom and have done so much for your son. This is on him.
I often feel very alone in all this. How does your partner feel about all this? How does his brother feel about this?