Hi ladies- my heart goes out to all of you for the terrible position we are all in. I hear the pain and anguish, the anger, the fear. The enabling part is a very fine line. I’ve struggled with it myself. But I do know that too much enabling does prolong things for sure.
Taking care of ourselves is critical- it’s so all consuming. My sister and I are only 15 months apart (I’m the younger of us), and you can see the toll that life has taken on me compared to her.
Addiction is very complicated. Addiction by nature, makes them selfish people and they can’t see that at all. I happen to believe that addiction is multi-dimensional. I think that there is some choice in there, and yet, they become physically and mentally addicted and that overtakes choice at times. I think they are emotionally empty and have trouble coping. So it’s no wonder that they need so many different types of help and often don’t get that help or don’t want it.
My son happens to be a very nice and kind man when he is sober, but he is mean when he drinks. And I’ve told him, when you’re like that, I’m out for a bit.
Currently my son has been sober for about 5 weeks- yes, I’m counting and I’m proud of him for it and tell him so. His attitude is very different, he’s not blaming everyone else for a change. He’s doing well and he’s actually seeing an addiction therapist that he actually likes which has never happened. If you’ve read my posts, my son was starting to have seizures. I can only hope that that is what rattled him enough to try and stop.
You never know how things will go, so I’m just using this time to try and mentally, physically and emotionally recharge my battery. I pray a lot.
These things are not our faults. We are all moms who tried our best and are still trying our best in an impossible situation that we are not at all equipped for.
I think of you all daily and pray for all of us and our addicted sons daily. Love to you all! ❤️