Pambler your doing amazing.
The 12 steps tells u just take each day at a time.
Dont think about tommorow tackle it when it comes.
Dont think about the past sorrows focus on how u can change this around.
U cant change the past but you can change the future.
Your mum will be so proud.
Just keep in there and seriously get to some AA or NA meetings.
My son mainly goes to AA meetings as there are more of them but the principles are exactly the same and y will be surrounded by lots of support by people who are in ypur position and have been there and u will find your not alone and can share your feelings without judgment.
You can crack this ypu really can.