Oh gosh, everyone….I am shocked to hear the stories on this thread, and yet relieved that I am not alone too….
Lindyloo pointed me in this direction and so I have been reading all the heartbreaking posts….and clinging on to those that offer hope.
I posted a few days ago in a new thread that my 38 year old alcoholic son came to live with me 5 months ago, from prison. He promised to get help and stay off alcohol. He’s on methadone for heroin withdrawal. Lindyloo kindly replied and pointed me in this direction…
He is my eldest son, and he’s now addicted to prescription drugs. He gets diazepam and other stuff off the internet and also on prescription from the GP. His moods are all over the place and he constantly wants money. He came at me the other day with his fists (he’s 6’8″) and I fell over. He told me ‘ I hope you’ve broken your effing leg, you c***’ The police ended up coming over and arrested him, but I didn’t press charges. So he came back here. He’s my son and I can’t bear the thought of him going back to prison….and yet I can’t live like this. My house is tiny. I work hard. I dread coming home.
I recently lost my mum. We were so close. He hasn’t even allowed me to grieve….
Tonight he told me that the owner of the village shop had been to my house, asking for the money Chris owed him from April, when he got credit for drink….I’m pretty sure that what happened the other night when there squad cars and four policemen came tumbling out is now the talk of the village…
I already feel totally isolated and I’ve become a miserable old lady.
Losing my mum has just added to the absolute despair I feel.
I feel suicidal. I don’t see I have a place in the world any more. My alcoholic son is convincing me that my other two sons have confided in him that I’m useless. They denied it, but I can’t see how he would keep on bringing it up if it wasn’t true to some extent?
I broke down at work after a particularly difficult time with him and told my bosses all about things. I work in a private household for super-rich people and they seemed very sympathetic at the time, but now they are saying I crossed the line…even more reason for me to feel it would be much better to be with my mum.
I tried to sign up for my local Al-Anon meeting, but it seems there is only an on-line option at the moment – which in my tiny house while my son is upstairs, isn’t really an option….
I hope that feeling part of this community will help me feel a little bit less isolated and desperate
Sorry if I seem so self-absorbed x