You are a really good person in an impossible situation. None of this is your fault. I only really know about heroin, but I’m starting to think that they are very changed people once they’ve gone down that road. I’ve also over-shared and cried at work, and regretted it, but you have to talk to someone. Please give Drugsfam a ring, adfam are also really good, they get you to see that you have to look after yourself. No one should have to live like this. Your son sounds really out of control and there’s nothing you can do for him until he wants to change. He’s hurting and lost and he’s hitting out at you when he talks about things your other children are meant to have said.
Your son is off heroin, which is good. Is he getting any support from the addiction agencies for his other issues?
I’m really sorry to hear about your mum as well, you need time and space to grieve. If you are not safe at home then you need to talk to someone. I am not sure where you start but maybe tell your doctor what’s going on and let them know that you are in danger.
Please keep going, we all need each other on this site. We are so much stronger together, listening and supporting each other. I wouldn’t have got through lockdown without it.
I’m sorry if this is disjointed, I’m on my phone and it’s not easy to scroll back. I may have repeated myself a lot.
I am thinking about you.