Father’s Day. My grandchildren in crisis because they hadn’t heard from their dad so we travel to see them all. In the meantime I find out that yes, their dad is alive, he is in a police station being held until Monday where he will be put before the court and probably remanded for assaulting his girlfriend in a drunken coke fuelled rage. This is the second time he has been charged with this type of offence.
He has also been charged with driving without a licence, driving whilst uninsured and failing to provide a specimen.
I am exhausted, grief stricken, etc etc
Today I am painting that smile on my face and trying to be the best grandmother to my victimised grandchildren. I have lost my son. It is over. He is somebody I don’t want to know. He has hurt so many people over the last decade plus. His continued violence towards women appalls me. He doesn’t take any responsibility for what he has done or the lifelong scars he has left on his children.
My father died of liver cancer due to alcohol abuse. My own childhood was chaotic and unsafe. I walk in my grandchildren’s shoes ever day and the buried trauma of my own childhood has reared its head. The focus should not be on the addict it should be on the innocent victims of the addict. This constant prioritising of their addictions harms everyone else and feeds their need for attention and ‘poor me’ mantra. Time to break the cycle for everyone’s sake.