Guilt is such a common theme in each of these stories. It is the kind of hopeless and pointless emotion that drags us back into despair and self-questioning. Many people urged me to leave my husband over the years but I never did. I stayed. Yes, I was angry and cruel sometimes but I was a normal human being who was dealing with a very abnormal situation. Sometimes my reactions to the deception were completely out of control. I believe that alcoholism distorts our normal thinking and throws our emotions into chaos so that we behave as different people. When alcoholism takes its final toll, we as the ones who loved our husbands with all our hearts are left holding all the wreakage from the past. But it is not good and it is not productive. We have to be strong for our children and for ourselves as well and we have to make it our priority to find a way back to healing and to life.
