Hi Fed up mom, welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to hear what you are going through, I can hear the frustration and anguish in your letter. I hope that you can find strength in all the moms here who understand what you are going through.
You do not have to take abuse. We are moms and we give and give, and unfortunately with an addict, it is not helpful and sometimes even harmful as we enable their addiction by too much help. I know, I’ve done it.
I agree with Kate, if you’re not ready to call the police on your son, just take it a step at a time and start small- maybe by just telling him that you will no longer give him money. It’s very hard because you must stick to it or it means nothing and if you give in, then they just up the abuse until you do.
You have a right to your own life and peace. You have a right to enjoy your other children- they matter too. I also have three children and my son’s siblings told me the same, that they have suffered by all the care I have given to him, and really that’s not fair to them either. It’s so hard.
But you can’t please everyone, so you must start with yourself. Perhaps you can read about addiction, and about enabling- it’s eye opening. What would be normal mother behavior for any other child, is enabling to an addict.
Stay as strong as you can and start small, but just begin. That’s how change can happen- for you. We are all here for you. ❤️