Good morning lovely ladies
You are all wonderful people who love and adore your children, even if they are all grown up and should be independent adults.
Addiction is a disease, it turns our beauties into something we do not recognise. I do believe they still love us but the addiction is stronger, I know they feel shame about their behaviour, but continue to behave like it because the need for that drug is too great.
They are lost inside a body that is being ravaged by drugs, no more dignity, no more shame, but the guilt is I am sure in abundance.
Unfortunately they do not all come through, some overdose, some resort to suicide in pure fear and desperation. My friend lost her son to suicide two weeks ago because he could no longer live with the need to use and the fear of the dealers.
I feel very very blessed that something happened to my son and he decided he hated his life and sought help from an amazing charity and did 7 months in rehab with an open door policy. Set up by an ex addict who said to me that no matter how much you beg an addict to get help, they will only do it when they are ready. Otherwise it is unlikely to be successful. My son had tried rehabs before upon pressure from me and always relapsed but I am very proud to say he is now 13 months clean.
I still worry, not the same deep rooted fear of will he come home tonight, will he have another seizure and his body give up, will the dealers catch up with him and give him a hiding, will he do something degrading just to earn some money to feed his habit, will he chuck in the towel on his life because he no longer wants to live in this world. I now worry, that he’s going to resort back to this, every time he comes home late I worry he has succumbed to the demon drugs.
But I do need to stop because I also know it is not within my control to change anything but I can choose to live my life and enjoy my other three children who are independent adults and wonderful and I am just about to become a nana. So excited for this ♥️
So lovelies, I hope you all have peaceful weekends, remember it’s ok not to be ok, and don’t hang your heads, our kids have a disease that we are not in control of. The scum are the dealers not our kids xx
Much love and hugs to you all ♥️
Kate, you are an amazing lady ♥️