Hi Everyone the enabling thing is so difficult. My son’s tenancy comes to an end next month, his dad and I have paid 7 months rent in the city where his better friends are. In that time he’s found good freelance work, met his deadlines and has slowly improved the state of the flat, which looked pretty horrific until about 2 weeks ago. Very little money has come back towards costs and he hasn’t shown me what he’s earning. He has cut down on heroin use and socialises with better people but won’t commit to engaging with services and attending meetings. His life is a lot better than 6 months ago and if we stop paying now all of those gains will have been lost. It feels like every spare penny goes on him. To really depress myself I downloaded my bank activity for last 3 years and the amounts that have gone to him are eye-watering. But I can’t have him living back here, it was really bad for him because he just lay on his bed all day and horrible for us. It almost feels worth paying to avoid that.
Joanie- That’s really good news about your son, I’m so happy for you, and it does give the rest of us hope. It’s lovely that he’s getting involved and helping his daughter.
I hope that your leg heals quickly, you’ve really been through the mill between your son and your own health problems. I hope that your son keeps going forward and you do enjoy your relationship again.
Bump – It’s great that you were able to go on holiday and not be so stressed. I’m sure in time your son will wake up to how amazing you’ve been and the impact his addiction has on your family.
Kate: I think of you and your son a lot. I know there must still be very dark days, but it’s so good that you have grandkids.