Try not to be so hard on yourself Fed up mom. It’s so difficult to know what to do as a mom. And we’re challenged with not acting like a “mom” when we’ve been doing it with them their whole life. But unfortunately, with them being an addict, it muddies the waters. I’ve done many things I regret that enabled my son. Maybe your son just wants to know he has support. I would try and not feel guilty if he doesn’t get himself up. I would tell him, ” I’m here to give you a boost, but you have to get yourself up each day. You’re 32 years old and it’s your responsibility to get up.” Enabling might make you feel better for the moment, but unfortunately, it doesn’t do a thing for them. I know all too well. This is not your responsibility to wake him up each day and you shouldn’t feel any guilt about that.
I thing all of us on here are reaching out because we are so lost. We learn from others and we often see truths we don’t want to see.
If you go back and read your own post and pretend it’s not you, (which I’ve done with myself), you’ll see some clarity I think.
Here’s my two cents on the legalizing aspect. Legalizing and addiction are two completely different things. Where I live in Colorado, USA, marijuana was legalized years ago. I really don’t care either way, at least it decriminalizes something that can be recreational for many, same as alcohol. Addiction is different. There are many people on this forum who have sons who are truly addicted to it and they are living the same scary lives as everyone else on here. Addiction is very complicated. I do believe their is choice, especially in the beginning, but I do think it reaches a point where they are physiologically in the grips of it and choice takes a back seat. However, there is beauty in that choice, because thankfully, many addicts can finally make that hard choice to stop.
I’m grateful to hear all the stories. This is a journey and we change and grow along with them and learn that it is truly on them and all we can do is support and love.
On a good note, as I mentioned that my son had a relapse after four months of sobriety. Thankfully as Lindyloo and Joanie said, he realized his mistake and reined it in fairly quickly after a couple of days. Who knows what will happen next.
I’m with Jem, they need our love and support and we just have to learn how to give it and not enable because it doesn’t work, and to not allow ourselves to be harmed in the process. Big work. We’re stronger together.
Love to all! ❤️