Oh februarymarie I feel for you. This roller coaster of extreme emotions we are put on through no choice or fault of our own. But but but, we do have control of how much we tolerate and that’s what we should focus on.
No amount of love can change addiction, don’t feel guilty for setting and sticking to boundaries.
Enabling in any way only exacerbates the problem.
We are not to blame for the addictions so guilt is a wasted emotion.
We are people too!
We matter as much as any other human and have the right to live a life worth living.
It’s OK not to feel OK
It’s OK to forge a life outside of the addicted child
And the most important thing, isolation by the addict only gives them more power. Tell people what is happening, there is no shame, we have done nothing wrong. Most people are very empathetic.
Example, I told one of my neighbours when we were having a chat, turns out her father had been an abusive alcoholic, we both cried, we both hugged, she felt the overwhelming relief of keeping it all in too. I felt better for not keeping it a secret anymore and it liberated me. The secrecy only serves to keep us isolated which in turn plays into the hands of the addict because the focus remains on them if nobody else knows and the focus needs to be on the other things in life that keep you sane and happy, not the addict.
Love to all and the best advice I can give at the moment is to tell, tell anyone you think may in some small way be able to help you, even if it’s just a shoulder to cry on. Xxx