Thank you so much purpleheart and I’m so sorry you and your children have gone through this, I do think he will realises one day why you did it, but it is so sad how much of the children’s lives they miss out on due to their actions then hold the other parent accountable.
My priority will always be my daughter and her safety, I’m not a malicious person, as he makes out to his family, and would never punish him by keeping her away from him, we are still under the same roof but he chooses to lock himself away, he comes down to cook food or go out, and will say hi and bye to her, some days he sits in the lounge and I’ll go to do the washing or something just to give them space, but he disappears after 10 minutes, he tells his family he can’t bear to be around me.
He admitted he had a problem just after she was born so was ill or sleeping a lot of her life, she doesn’t know any different which is sad, I couldn’t leave her with him as I’d go to get changed and come down and he was fast asleep, I didn’t let him take her out in the car as he was usually drunk or had drugs in his system, and although he’s back from rehab I don’t know if I can trust him to stay clean, he swears he is and has beaten his illness, but he has so much anger and hatred towards me, he just doesn’t seem right, I don’t know what he does locked in his room all day, I’ve had 3 1/2 years of broken promises and lies and got so used to being a single mum that I just do what I always have
She picks up on so much too which is hard, she’ll say I don’t love daddy cause mummy doesn’t love daddy, I’ve said you do love your daddy very much and I do and always will love him as he gave me you.
it breaks my heart as he so wanted to be a dad, as he felt he missed his other 3 growing up, business was going well, so we could spend less time working more time with her, and as she grew up take her to school together wave her off, silly things like that.
We built a beautiful home together too, but he got so happy that everything was perfect that he needed more and chose drugs, he’s missed so much of her milestones, and seeing what an amazing little person we have. The business is gone and the house will be soon too, it just all seems crazy and I feel so lonely and tired, I thought rehab take 2 would work, but nothings changed, I hate to say it but he’s worse, we used to have one or two nice days but now he just makes my life hell like he’s punishing me
and I’m sorry I’ve gone on again I’m just a bit low today xx