<p style=”text-align: left;”>I wanted to mention that when he was sober for the months in between he was a good father and he was not promiscuous at all. I see that the pull to escape and maybe the risk of dabbling in the sex world is appetizing and this is what he’s ultimately choosing though I wish it went how we both used to want it to be happy family & endless love., that all feels like a long lost dream. I wanted my family together so much. That’s all I ever wanted. That I’ve endured longer than anyone should. Bc I loved him. I know that our relationship has developed into a trauma bond. If I can be honest I know my mind is traumatized by this relationship and I feel I will not trust again. The risk is not worth the reward anymore. & I am trying to shift my mindset into thinking it’s not what I’m not doing, I am what I have become to him because of HIM. If anything I’ve become a lot stronger, I’ve grown into a woman and i’ve grown as a person. That I can be thankful for.</p>
