Oh Val Raye
Hope it has helped you somewhat bring able to share all your emotions and thoughts here. You are not alone, so many of us going through similar trauma, despair , confusion and misery
When my husband is at his worst all I want to do is escape , will stay at my mum’s a few days or at least I used to, but then come back as I’d worry about him having an accident or burning the house down. I have spent countless hours trying to work out my rights , but it seems we both have a legal right to stay in the house …and my goodness he will.make it so hard to sell up and divorce…it will probably end up costing £££ in court fees so that there’d be nothing at all left to help us both move on. I don’t think ppl who haven’t been through this sort of relationship get that – they do t understand why we stay… But sometimes there really feels there is no alternative
Sorry this is rubbish advice for you! However you do have your children to fight for , they deserve peace. Whilst our partners might not be physically violent their behaviour is abusive so one option may be to speak to a domestic violence charity, if in UK there is women’s aid or search for the domestic violent hotline , start getting sign posted to help – they might be able to offer free legal advice and some counselling.
In the past I have spoken a few times on the DV helpline , it helped during the really bad years although for my own situation their only advice was to leave him and my home and possibly go to a refuge.
Aw hope you find a solution soon…I hope we all do Xx