Hi all
Things have escalated again (surprise surprise) quite quickly. He reverted to almost normal , appearing caring, happier more positive etc with me and my mum , I stupidly went along with this sharade even though deep down n buried I was anxious about him relapsing
Well of course that happened, and his nasty side has come back. He has crossed my boundaries several times this week , on basis he has no choice cos he’s in too much pain …so now it’s out of necessity for pain n how can I stand in his way!
I am now totally backed into a corner. I had a complete breakdown a few days ago… For about 10 hours I just wanted to die .
Now I’m just filled with fear and regret . Fear about the future and how the hell do I get out of this mess. And regret for not leaving years ago . However there is no rule book… If I leave I can do that but do I just walk away from my house that Ive paid for (he stopped contributing years ago now). He will also refuse or at least make it very very difficult to sell … I’ve not been able to keep on top of the repairs n decoration due to time and no money left every month.
Just so much to think about, my heads spinning