I am in a similar position. I have been with my partner for 8 and a half years. I have been cheated on and lied to. I barely recognise the person he has become. He doesn’t answer the phone anymore to me. He is embarrassed about the situation and is saying he is getting help but i don’t think he is ready yet. We have 2 kids together and he has his own flat. After my son was born he went out and didn’t come back for a week. I kicked him out and he could tell i had enough. While we were reconciling he cheated…the person had a baby and kept it a secret. She told him at Christmas and now we’re all in turmoil again. He took the news quite badly and went on another downward spiral. I think the most important thing is to try and set boundaries as you are doing and stay strong. It is such a bumpy road. You have to look after yourself along the way. I have started to see how hard it is to detach from a person that you love so much. They can only make the decision to change for themselves. I message him to let him know we are here. I can see he is unable to stop. I have lost myself along the way. Last year he was at his worst. I’ve never felt so destroyed. Its the first time he has admitted he has a problem with addiction but i am a mess. His family think he just doesn’t love me anymore and thats all thats wrong. They bail him out, help him out and give him all the money in the world. He answers there calls still. He is very charming and always the life and soul of the party. Cocaine is a rubbish drug!! But someone told me that we are just beautiful people trying to help them. Don’t loose sight of your beauty and stay true to yourself!!
sorry for the long message. Xx