I hate cocaine too
it has destroyed so many families including mine and robbed my daughter of a loving father
I’m still so confused by how it all went so wrong, I don’t think I could have loved him or supported him anymore, but feel I am now the villain in our story.
He has cut all contact with me and our daughter, then blames me for keeping her away from him.
As I won’t admit I was to blame for the breakdown of our marriage too, he laughs and says that’s why we would never of worked, but if I ask what I did he says you know. He says he was poorly and I’m an awful human being, for giving ultimatums to get him to go to rehab.
I was a bridesmaid at my best friends wedding which was choosing her over him, this horrible person isn’t him, it’s what cocaine has done to him, he doesn’t care about anything anymore just being the best version of himself, which means removing anyone unsupportive from his life
His family say it would never have worked, and I know I shouldn’t care but I want to know why, the answer always lots of reasons.
I feel so mad that I spent 3 years trying to get him better, fighting for us when he was at his worst and he comes out and doesn’t give us a chance, but I can’t flick a switch and hate him
My friends, family and even his family tell me I’m better off without him, but they’ve all got someone, they’ve got lives, I’ve just got a new job that fits around childcare but I’m either working or looking after my daughter, I’m so lonely and tired no one understands
Sorry I’m feeling a bit down today, and this rant is about me and how it has effected me, but I know everyone is going through it on here too and it’s not just me, I feel no one else understands or gets it like people on this forum so hope you don’t mind me hijacking your post xx