I also have bought some drug testing kits just incase I have any doubts. Do you know what its crazy how even though they do all this to us and break our hearts we still protect them I suppose really when you think about it these men are our addiction and yes they are spiteful and only ever see what they are going through and how hard things are for them and it drives me insane, I feel like a robot constantly on auto pilot looking after kids on my own, lying to my daughter saying he is working away when really he has’nt lived with me for a year because of this stupid drug. I saw it as we were not enough and he said its nothing like that but its hard to believe when your so down trodden comparing yourself to a powder. The last couple of weeks have’nt been easy hes trying to deal with all these suppressed emotions and anger seems to be the main one hes struggling with his mouth can be very vicious sometimes and to be honest I dont think I can take anymore I have been through enough everytime its like a knife in the heart. I know this sounds daft but if I had a magic wand I would’nt wish for money like most people would, I would wish that he never took this drug and was just normal or even better that it did’nt exist at all. I hate it its ruined my life and my little family. I am so glad he got intouch with you but I doubt he can do this without help he really needs professional help to get rid once and for all. My partner will soon be going on to a drug called natrexone (I think) and its a complete blocker so if he tries to use it will basically kill him, brutal but gives me piece of mind that sounds really bad I know but at least its the end of it all. I just wanted you to know that your not alone and I really wish you all the best and hope he will sort hiself out for you and his family. Please keep intouch and let me know how your doing and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your daughter for 12 days time xx
