I cannot live my life like this anymore its like a nightmare I am in love with the person he used to be and fact that he looks the same does’nt help. I really just want to say its over but something is holding me back and I think its fear, that I will be on my own and that no one will want me and having to introduce the kids to a new man if it did ever happen. its just all swirling around my head. He said that he thought I fell out of love with him along time ago but thats not true I would’nt have had another child with him if I did’nt love him. Think its all to guilt trip me to be honest because its never their fault is it, he said he could’nt do what I asked go to work (bearing in mind hes only been doing 3 hrs for 3 days a week) phase return, but really he had to go back because he was’nt getting any money because his ssp ran out, its just all excuses and blame on me really ( selfish ) addict talk as usual. I dunno just feel really low at the minute the kids are only thing keeping me going. Just goes to show I was right to be suspicious.
I will speak to you soon take care xx