Hi , your post was mine last year so I understand how you feel I just wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there ! I spent my first Christmas without my son .. I went to familys and he stayed at home and got totally stoned . .. I spent the whole day trying to be cheerful and happy inside I was screaming . It was very difficult but I got through it and in a way I think it helped me realise how much control over my life I had given away to my son . nothing I say will help you feel better about the day I’m really sorry sending you a massive hug and really hope you manage to find some happiness on the day xxxxx
