- This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 7 months ago by jaydee94.
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January 31, 2023 at 12:45 pm #32451jaydee94Participant
Hi there I hope everyone is ok. I’ve joined the forum in the chance of seeking some help with me addiction.
I’m going to keep this as short as I can,
I had my first line whilst drinking with friends when I was very early 20s, then nothing for a while. Then every so often, to then doing it more with people.
it got to a point in my life when this set of friends did it, so I did it, then another set of friends did it, so I did it, and then when I went my girlfriend her stepdad did it, so I did it.
now I’m at the stage that when I’m out drinking with friends or family or both I will BUY it. And a lot of the time hide it from people.
the problem with it is I’ve been told a million times that I’m such a fun drunk. Little do they know I’m using there bathroom to snort cocaine. I lie to my girlfriend about it. Although she has been in the loop
a few times of the years. This is a strange one because I might do 3 months without it. And then do it every weekend for a month. Christmas and summer being the most common of times. So I’ll use a Gram most of the time, and I could be up till 4am some Sunday mornings.
my urge is after 3/4 pints I’m game for getting it. And I WILL get it. I’ve tried leaving my bank card at home but now a lot of people are accepting bank transfer. Maybe leaving my
phone at home will help? That’s my next step. The other obvious step is don’t DRINK. As I’ve never used cocaine sober:
when I talk to people about my regrets on Monday, they tend to say don’t worry you’ve not done nothing wrong, you work hard and your a bloody good dad. Well for me I can’t let get of the shame that it brings.
I just don’t know what to do. As this is not a dependant scenario, it’s definitely a long term one.
Doing cocaine over the weekend along with alotof beer.. come Monday I’m nervous, completely exchausted, depressed, anxious amongst a lot of other things. I’ve spoken to my girlfriend before about this like I said, but she’s not the kind of girl that has the support package for me. And I don’t expect her to either. Bless her.
I just wondered if anyone has any tips on this situation.
Thanks in advance
and all the best for everyone else
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February 2, 2023 at 10:38 pm #32478fayzeyParticipant
Hi Jaydee well done for making a first step you obviously really want to make a change which is great! Unfortunately drink and coke go hand in hand, I would say don’t drink for a while, or only in situations where you know there’s absolutely no chance of getting it – just til u feel a bit stronger and can try and break the cycle….sounds boring but def worth it in the long run to nip it in the bud then u can get on with your life but if u wait til u have a really bad problem, that will be it u will have to be tee total for good to stay off it! Good luck
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February 3, 2023 at 12:49 am #32481jamesbParticipant
Hey bro, hope you’re good.
Don’t worry man you’re not alone and I hope I don’t sound patronising when I say that luckily for.you you’re still at a stage alot of addicts would give their right arm to be…. At the stage where you can go months etc without out. Me myself am also a 30year old recovering cocaine addict but unfortunately my addiction gripped me alot harder to a point where I would use an unthinkable amount daily and I lost pretty much everything I cared about in life.
Less about me though.
Mate I feel for you because like you say got for a couple and after that 3/4th pint it’s game on and at that point you can’t stop yourself, there is alot of science behind that which I won’t bore you with but basically it comes down to a few things. Alcohol consumption lowers our ability to make good decisions and listen to our better Judgement and also it just comes down to the fact you know it’s an option. Like you go out have a few beers and yeah it’s great butmyih know what would make you feel alot better right…… It’s like going to a restaurant and knowing they do a really good stake but ordering a chicken breast. Why would you order the thing you know is less enjoyable right? So when you’re out having a few it’s like yeah I’m having fun but ordering a g will make this so much more enjoyable.
You don’t sound you’re at the stage where I would say to start associating the negatives of what comes with doing it at the time you want it as I don’t think you’ve gotten to the destructive stage luckily yet but you are at a stage where you are concerned enough to post here so unfortunately man I see the only way to go forward is to not drink. You can cover that up with a story of health or what ever else but drinking is always for you like it does me and so many others have a unbreakable connection to getting on the gear.
Maybe if you came back to drinking after a while like 6months or a year the enjoyment of a few pints may be enough on its own but if it’s now at the stage you can’t drink without getting one in, brother please take action now because it can so easily slip into an addiction like I battled. I was once at the stage you was and chose to ignore it and looking back I wish I had the strength at that time.you have shown now to speak up.
Hope that doesn’t seem too heavy though I’m not suggesting you’ll be like I was if you don’t listen to my advice aha just that youre in a good position now to nip it in the bud.
Good luck bro and keep in touch if you need support I’m on here alot. Feel free to read some of my posts if you need to scare yourself off getting on it aha
Stay strong
James x
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February 27, 2023 at 6:25 am #32673jaydee94Participant
Hi thanks very much for your comment!
I get all of what you’ve said. It really is a tough one. Thanks very much for taking the time out to writing this post it ment a lot!
Well it’s the 27th of feb now and I’ve had a few nights out and I haven’t done coke. Although I was close a few weeks back. Out with one friend, who is more of a drinker, but would do coke if I had it. Although is no bothered.
it got to around midnight and I started feeling drunk, so I headed to my phone and called someone. They didn’t answer. So that was a lucky escape! I’ve since then deleted the number and blocked them.
so I know there’s still a lot to put in place
but I feel a lot better for nearly a month off doing the drug.
how are you doing yourself?
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February 12, 2023 at 9:24 pm #32591eddie123Participant
Please reach out to adapt Charity.
Have a look at their website. http://www.adaptoxford.org.uk -
February 13, 2023 at 11:05 am #32594eddie123Participant
If you know of anyone who is struggling with a loved ones addiction, I know of a great charity that supports people nationwide. The family support programme is remote and they help many families a year. Please see link and fill in the referral and someone will endeavour to respond within 24 hours.
https://www.adaptoxford.org.uk/support
They also provide free treatment to the substance user if they want the support themselves( under the adapt programme on their website)
Just done half an hour on Adfam. So will do some more tomorrow and see what comes from it!
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February 18, 2023 at 6:14 am #32637AaronRyan20Participant
I am not a user but someone who was abused staying with a user. He was the most politest man I had ever known. But was also a fun drunk . All his friends did cocaine and he did not think he had any problem. Until one day i confronted him about spending time with his ex – did not know how to react and strangulated me. He called off the relationship as he didnt think i was bringing best in him . Its now i realise all his lies of i snort once a while was not true and it was most of the time. It was not me not bringing the best out of him . It was the coke doing its magic.
I am trying to highlight the road between being a fun drunk to being an abuser or something else is so slippery with this drug. Get all the help you can get before you and people around you are destroyed.
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