[steveo]

Hi all, my wife recently discovered my codeine addiction which has caused us to split up.ive been taking codeine for 10 years now upto 4 a day due to suffering with a bad leg,2 years ago we lost our beloved dog Ollie who really was our world and our Maine source to be together.i was pretty low as we all were which eventually led to me being prescribed antidepressants off my gp,around about 6 months ago I stopped taking my antidepressants and felt really low again with which I started to have a couple more dihydrocodiene each day which put me on the level the antidepressant did.anyway during lock down it all came out that I was addicted to the dihydrocodiene as I had stupidly been buying them online. When confronted by my wife I panicked and told her I was buying them for my brother,after a week or so of this lie eating me away I had to be truthful to myself and come clean and tell my wife I was addicted to these tablets as a result of this iam now out of the family Home and on my own which has totally devastated me. I was never meant to get addicted that was never my plan. Iam seeking medical help to get off these which is I must say Is quite horrendous. I hoping to be clean in a couple of weeks and I’m preying my wife whom I love dearly will start to forgive me. I’ve broken our honesty and trust I really couldn’t tell anyone until I was truthful to myself

Any help and advice would be great

Thanks for reading Steve ????????????

[kel1]

It sounds as though youre doing the right thing seeking medical support. After you’ve dealt with the physical withdrawals, I’d probably suggest that you begin to explore the driving forces behind why you used in the first instance and what triggers the depressive episodes. If it is caused by bodily pain then perhaps discuss this with your doctor, maybe pain management is what you might need.

You could also suggest counselling for you both, If you are both willing that is. Perhaps she needs some space right now – I’m sure lockdown doesn’t help. She may need to process everything that’s been learnt recently. It’s not easy to understand the lies when it comes to addiction, it’s still Betrayal and us humans, especially close loved ones don’t like that. Partly I think because our partners are meant to be the people we turn to – when that doesn’t happen I think we start to question things like trust, understanding and togetherness.

Best of luck

[steveo]

Hi, thanks for the reply

Iam seeking the medical care I need also I’m getting counselling on my own, I told a lie when it came out cos I panicked, I know it was wrong of me but couldn’t tell anyone until I told myself I was addicted.

Now it’s out there which I’m totally ashamed of I’ve got to try and move forward.i did start taking them for pain relief for my leg which still is painful, but to be honest I would rather have the pain than a broken marriage

????????????

[kel1]

It’s a difficult situation, and still early days for you both. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’m sure in time you can talk over some of this. I think it’s important to remember that although you perceive the lies as a way of dealing with panic, we have to keep in mind that other people might internalise that differently. None of us like to be lied too, and an acceptances of that will take your far. Sometimes it’s best to hold your hand up without putting a justification onto it.

Best of luck

[steveo]

Hi, there is no more lies from me I’ve got to be honest not just to myself but to the ones I have hurt, I find myself extremely grateful that my wife is still talking with me and not completely washed her hands of me, as I’ve said I didn’t take the tablets to get a high I just didn’t realise or couldn’t admit to myself I was addicted to them.

Now the truth is out there I will beat this terrible addiction and start getting back to my normal old self

Thanks steve

[robb]

All the best Steve

[steveo]

Thanks robb means alot

[kel1]

Good for you. If only all husband’s was as motivated as you.

Hope things work out for you and your family

[steveo]

Thank you I’m as motivated as I can be and will be strong in the dark days to come

[steveo]

Thanks kel1 I’m only trying to give what my wife deserves a husband who cares not one who lied to the closest person to him, she deserved better than that.

[kel1]

Well keep going and be strong ????. Be nice to hear a positive outcome.

[steveo]

Thanks again, I really do appreciate the kind words and I really do hope I get the outcome I’m looking for at the end of all this, I’m just waiting on a call from a counsellor to take another step forward

Thanks again steve

[steveo]

Hi, well today is a really bad day I’m feeling pretty damn rough with the withdrawal of the codeine, but it’s my own stupid fault in the 1st place so I’ve got to deal with it head on as I’ve already caused enough upset as it is.i will be strong in the dark days as I’ve already stated and this is one of them.

[kel1]

What’s the symptoms? Can you buy some over the counter remedies? Are you going to quickly with the reduction? Who’s monitoring you with this.

Admire your determination

[steveo]

Hi, my gp has slowly reduced me I’m down to 4 a day I was never taking a large amount 8 a day at the most,I’m struggling with the withdrawal on my own ,I just wish it hadn’t come to this I miss my wife dearly which is adding to my pain. Iam trying so so hard to do this which I will but it’s just a struggle on my own.

[robb]

Just remember there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

People can give up addicting & live great life’s, be strong and remember everyone Struggles.

[steveo]

Yes I agree rob thank you for the words it means a lot

[robb]

Have you tried phoning a help line and having a chat with a professional?

I know you rather have your wife by your side but the main thing now is showing your wife but mainly yourself that you can overcome this addiction and show yourself a better path.

Chatting to a professional may be able to give you a helping hand to overcome or give you a insight on what to aspect.

[steveo]

Hi robb, I have spoke to a couple of people non professional but it has helped me to go forward,I had a bit of a melt down earlier but can now see more positives than negatives, so I move on to tomorrow now which hopefully will be a better day

Thanks again for the support

[kel1]

Ah bless you. You’re doing great but I agree with Rob maybe talking to a professional might help you manage some psychology triggers. Be nice to yourself, I know you miss your wife but for now focus on you and being the best version of yourself.

Hugs to you

[steveo]

Hi kel 1,

I’m trying as hard as I can to get through this, I do miss my wife dearly but maybe it’s best I get through this on my own as I’ve hurt her enough as it is. I’ve just got to push on and get this out of the way and then take the next hurdle of putting other wrongs right

I do appreciate the kind support I’m receiving

Thank you ????

[ifonly]

I hope you get your self better, wish my husband could show remorse , if I read what you wrote about loving and the regret you feel I’d forgive take care

[steveo]

Hi,sounds like you’re husband needs a bit of counselling, I would do anything to sort my life out with my wife that’s why I’m going to make all the changes I need and have to

Thanks again steve

[kel1]

Best of luck to you. Keep us updated if you want to. Always here.

[steveo]

Thank you, of course I will it’s great to talk to people who listen

Thanks again

[robb]

Keep going strong ????

[steveo]

Hi all, I’ve just had another hours counselling and I feel so positive going forward I feel great, I also went to pick my prescription up earlier my go had left me 35 dihydrocodiene instead of 21

To which I left them there until the chemist spoke to my gp on Monday I’m meant to be reducing not going up.so yes feeling pretty positive at the moment and tomorrow is another day closer getting off these tablets# onwards and upwards ????????????????

[kel1]

Good for you Steveo

[steveo]

Hi all, must admit the last couple of hours has been pretty rough but can see light at the end, I drop down to 3 a day on Monday so next week will be pretty big,as I’ve said I’ve got to be to strong and fight this all the way

Enjoy the rest of the weekend

????????????????????????????

[robb]

That’s good Steve! Be worth it in the end.

[steveo]

Thanks robb, I know it will be just got to get there now

????????????????

[smax69]

Hi mate. I started my affair with opiates on codine and it is just as hard as heroin to withdraw successfully from. I stayed clean for 4 years and, fell off the wagon a year ago. When I fully cleared the drugs out of my system (5 – 10 days) The longer the better. I opted to take Nalorex for a few months after completely abstaining from opiates. To stop temptation getting the better of me. Opiates don’t work whatsoever when you have Nalorex in your system. I started my withdrawal process on Subutex, which I’m sure you know is a synthetic opiate substitute and a blocker that stops the affects of codine, heroin and other opiates. I went from 4mg a day to 200 micrograms a day within 120 days (4 months) then I stopped taking them and didn’t have a cold turkey, rattle, illness of any kind. But I was clean for a week and I bought some dyhidracodine, then some heroin on the same day. Luckily I had someone to talk to about it and they steared me back to the doctors to talk about Nalorex. It stopped me from using, but I also found that councilling with someone who understands what you’re going through is priceless.

I too have ruined not one, but 3 fantastic relationships because of opiate addiction. Our partners always find it hard to get over all the lies you tell them. Every addict lies to the ones they love the most if the ones they love don’t know about your addiction. You don’t want them to look down at you making you feel like a junkie, so you lie to them all the time when they ask you. Where you have been? Where you are going? What have you spent X amount of money on? Etc etc etc, You can’t help it. We just have to lie. This is the biggest obstacle to get over when your partner finds out about your addiction. I really wish you the best with your giving up drugs and trying to rebuild your relationship..

If you ever want any more information or help from me Stevie. Just message me on here and if there’s anything I know or anything I can say that might help in anyway. You only need to ask mate. Good luck Smax69

[steveo]

Hi,thanks for the reply

I can see were you are coming from But I’ve only ever taken a small amount of dihydrocodiene. I’ve seen what heroin does to people so no thanks.

I never took them to get a high or a buzz I was taking them for pain relief 4 a day.

The maximum I ever took was 8-10 as from Monday it will be 3 a day and I’m feeling ok, so a couple of weeks and I’m done there is no going back to them EVER it’s onwards and upwards for me

Cheers steve

[steveo]

Hi all,

Spoke to my gp today and I’m now down to 3 a day for a week and I’m doing fine, had a bit of a down day yesterday but struggled through, hopefully this week won’t be to bad and I can carry on going forward.

Cheers

[kel1]

Hope you’re alright Steveo ????

[steveo]

Hi kel,

Yes thanks I’m ok I’m down to 3 a day, struggling with my sleep but apart from that I’m doing really well

Hope you are ok

Thanks again Steve

[kel1]

Thanks Steve and glad to hear you’re doing alright. Can you get something for sleep? I’m sure it will right it self in time though.

[steveo]

I’ve seen my go who gave me a couple of zopiclone 3.75 but they sent me the other way I’m kept me awake,

Thank you

[kel1]

Oh no well I use melatonin which knocks me out. Maybe research them. They’re natural.

[steveo]

Ok thank you

[steveo]

Morning, after a rubbish night last night I feel really positive today had an hours counselling and feel good

So it’s off to work I go with a smile ???? on my face

Have a good day everyone and feel positive????????????

[kel1]

Awww sorry to hear you’re feeling low, but you still hold onto hope so good on you. You’re doing so well Steve

[steveo]

Thanks kel1????????????????

[kel1]

Morning Steve, doing great – good for you. Have great weekend too

[steveo]

Hi,yes I’m feeling good I’m keeping myself busy and thinking positive

Thanks again

[devadoss]

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[bt1978]

Well done Steve mate. Withdrawals are bloody horrible. Stay strong

[steveo]

Hi, just a quick update, it’s nearly 2 weeks of being codeine free and I feel great inside and out I’m thinking more positive now and moving in the right direction

Hope all is well with everyone

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[kel1]

Good for you well done. Really pleased for you

[steveo]

Thank you for all you’re kind words and support

????????

[bt1978]

Get in Steve well done!

[steveo]

Thank you means a lot ????????

[kel1]

Anytime, it’s always nice to hear something positive. Keep going ????

[steveo]

Thanks kel1

That is what I’m doing going forward there is no going backwards for me, I’ve caused a lot of pain which hopefully I can start to put right

Thanks again ????????

[kel1]

Best of luck buddy ????

[steveo]

Thank you????????

[steveo]

Hi all, it’s been over 3 weeks now since I stopped taking those awful tablets, I’m still speaking with a a counsellor and my doctor I’ve also joined a trauma class which is very helpful, the only downside is my marriage which I have really damaged and can’t seem to put right ????????????????

[donthaveaclue]

Would your wife be open to marriage counselling at some point?

[kel1]

Oh you’re doing all you can Steveo for yourself. Have you tried to talk about reconciliation?

[steveo]

Hi kel1, yes I’m doing everything asked of me and more, I’m frightened to death to approach the subject in case I push her further away from me. I really am lost at the minute

Thanks for the reply

[kel1]

Wishing the best for you. At some point maybe you two can go out and just be two people “having a chat” some place. Doesn’t have to be anything heavy. Seems so sad for a marriage to end ????

[steveo]

I agree kel, thank you for the time you haven taken for the support and all the kind words I have listened and taken all on board

Thanks again

[kel1]

Anytime, we’re all here for one another. Someone once said to me

“Being lost is a good thing, it means you find yourself”. No truer words said. I think things if meant to be will be. Chin up, always up!

[steveo]

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[Author]

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