[mestre]

Is there any place else you can go?

[littletree]

Hi there

No, well it’s my house! He would need to move out. I often think of taking myself and baby off for a week somewhere to get away but why should I be out of pocket?

[jem]

I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I agree with MeStre, you got together very quickly and had there not been a baby I’m sure you’d have moved on as soon as you realised that your partner had a problem with alcohol. I grew up with a functioning alcoholic father and it was horrible and tainted so many family events/celebrations, and most meal times. You do need to talk to him about how you feel, but it sounds like he’s not ready yet to accept there’s a problem. Bringing a baby up on your own will be hard but it may be easier than bringing one up with an alcoholic. There is a really good helpline for relatives of people with drug/alcohol addiction called Drugfam, if you can, give them a call, they will support you through this. Good luck with this xxx

[hellosmee]

Hi Littletree

Just my opinion but it seems you rushed into a relationship with your partner because you got pregnant and you didn’t really both know each other well to see if you were compatible. It sounds very much like your partner is dependent on alcohol and that you aren’t comfortable with this around your baby, or yourself for that matter. My son was 6 months old when I decided that I could not bring my child up with my then husband (not dependencies but a very selfish person). It wasn’t easy being a single parent but for me it was a better choice. Maybe try talking again to your partner about his alcohol consumption in terms of how it makes you feel and worry. Talk to your friends and family, weigh things up in your own mind. You have some tough decisions to make and I wish you luck. X

[littletree]

Thank you for your replies.

Hellosmee and Jem- yes, we did think we would give it a go when I found out I was pregnant but I agree that we didn’t know each other enough by that stage and I do not think we are compatible.

It’s not actually just the alcohol that’s a problem, in addition to what I put in my original post he can snap at me (either sober or when drinking) about the most mundane things and I actually start questioning what on earth is going on. He even snapped at me 2 days after I came out of hospital with baby.

This morning I came downstairs to find 3/4s of a bottle of red wine gone; he was meant to be on a nightshift last night until 7am today but he was able to finish at 11.30pm instead. So it appears he bought a bottle on the way home and almost finished it off. It’s so sad..

I know what I need to do. In a way I don’t worry about bringing baby up alone as I do everything for her now anyway. He barely does anything at all. What concerns me most is that he will have contact with her without me there when we split. I can understand why people find it hard to leave.

Thanks for your replies x

[mestre]

It’s a difficult decision, It sounds like you know what you need to do. Wishing you all the best with it for your future happiness . Xx

[littletree]

Just to update you, I have ended the relationship. I know it’s going to be hard but it’s been so hard already and now at least I don’t have to put up with the horrible atmosphere and bottles piling up every evening. Thank you for your support.

[hellosmee]

That must have been hard but also a relief Littletree. I wish you luck for a better future for yourself and your child.

[mestre]

Wow. Im impressed you made the decision so quickly.it was obviously the right choice.

Wishing you all the best for your future and your child’s. .

[Author]

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