- This topic has 8 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 9 months ago by icarus-trust.
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May 25, 2014 at 11:06 pm #4235nittyParticipant
Well 4 months on since my last blog I’m still in the same position, my boyfriend has cocaine 6 nights a week drinks, Smokes and gambles he wastes £500 a week never pays me any attention love or acknowledges I exist, I have to put up the mood swings constant blame and paranoia, I don’t move out my door other than going to work I never have money too but oh no I’m sleeping around chatting online blah blah same old…… people who know me know I’m not like that I’m loyal kind caring person, I keep losing my temper through stress all I get will u lend me this lend me that I get ignored constantly and he expects me to jump and I won’t, when he starts with the accusations I just blow I can’t help it i know I shouldn’t but I’m only human I’m hurt and angry (bad combo). I’m scared something bad will happen I’ve asked him to leave loads and he won’t, I’ve got to the point now where I’m sitting in my room all the time bored but I have to cause if I look at him I get so mad all I think is y me?what have I done to deserve this? I know it’s only me who can change it but it’s hard when your scared……
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May 26, 2014 at 9:13 am #8403cant-take-no-moreParticipant
Hey Nitty…..sounds like his love for drugs far exceeds his love for you….thats drugs and the pull they have. Unfortunately he is dragging you down and until you start looking after yourself and putting yourself first it will never stop….my next question is why are you still with him??? Until he wants the help he will never change… You say you feel alone…well why not be alone without the stress…I know it sounds hard, but whilst you enable him to stay with you nothing will change.. Take care hunni x
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May 27, 2014 at 9:59 pm #8404nittyParticipant
I know exactly what he is doing and y I feel like this, I’ve let him stay cause of him making me feel like I’m nothing I’ve had bad depression, my mum, sister and nephew were all sick at one all having major ops, I just felt like I couldn’t deal with it all at once I’ve let him walk all over me, I loved him but what for to be treated like scum, it’s getting physical now and sometimes started by me I’m not a violent person never had been it’s the anger I feel inside, my dad killed himself on drugs an somewhere deep inside I thought I could fix my partner which I know know I can’t x
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May 27, 2014 at 11:01 pm #8405nittyParticipant
I’m that girl who sits in the corner crying wanting it all to end…! Scared lonely and petrified what’s next I’m a broken woman
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May 28, 2014 at 9:36 am #8406cant-take-no-moreParticipant
Hey Nitty……come on hunni, your not alone….After reading through your posts It looks like you have already made your decision..perhaps saying it loud is too final…..dont let this man take up any more of your time, love and care. He is an addict and his only concern is drugs…. get him out of your home because YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE ! I know you said that family members have been in hospital recently, but is there any one of them you can confide in and get some support from??? If not then enlist a friend to help you through this hard time…you need support, and you deserve to live a life without someone’s addiction enveloping you . Take care hunni, many of us here are happy to support you…thinking of you xx
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August 8, 2014 at 11:25 am #8600nittyParticipant
Thanks for your post means a lot yesterday I did it told him no more I just need to stay strong cause he has already tried to get back in he is telling me he loves me the usual and I can’t take that anymore he does love his addiction more cause if he didn’t he would stop for me,
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August 14, 2014 at 6:20 pm #8618nittyParticipant
Well i took him back and i was stupid and weak listened to his promises thinking he was speaking the truth he hasnt took coke for 8 days but he is iching and i cant be arsed now ive made a huge mistake and ive lost my family now they wont speak to me i have no support and im so loney now arrrghhh i just wanna scream
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December 22, 2014 at 7:54 pm #9074lolipopParticipant
Hi Lisa Jane you are far to young to have to deal with this situation , I’m an adult and find it horrendous at times you need to get some support for yourself . Is there a teacher at school you can talk to ? Or maybe childline maybe able to help find you some support ..its anonymous so please give them a call . Your mom is probably struggling as well and needs help . Please speak to someone and soon you can’t deal with this alone it’s too big for you sweetheart . Take care of yourself xxxx
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January 3, 2015 at 11:00 am #9089icarus-trustParticipant
Hi Lisa Jane,
I’m really sorry to hear what a horrible situation you are having to deal with.
You are definitely not the only one going through this and it sounds like you could do with some support for yourself.
The Icarus Trust is a charity who support people who are having to cope with addiction in their family. We have trained volunteers called ‘Family Friends’. If you contact us we would put you in touch with one of these who would be able to talk to you and may be able to help because they have also experienced similar situations. You are so right when you say that its good to be able to let out how you are feeling. They can also signpost you to other help that’s out there.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
This is a free service and I really hope that you will contact us.
Good luck with everything.
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