[daniiboi]

I’ve been with my fiancé for 10 years now we have two beautiful children one 6 and a newborn only weeks old

He has a cocaine addiction well I personally would class it as one he’s out 2/3 times a week doing it and that’s just the nights when he goes missing. And I’ve caught him doing it downstairs in the house by himself when we have all been asleep upstairs.

I don’t know what to do I feel like I’m going INSANE, if we argue about it it gets turned around to me asif I’m the bad person. I’m the crazy one, none of his friends partners go on like me etc. In reality all I say to him is you work hard go out once/twice a week and enjoy yourself all I ask is you come home at a normal time. But he will go out straight after work and not come home until 6am the day after or even two days. He will lie and say he’s going to the shops and not return. So naturally every time he does something or goes somewhere I’m straight on the defence and reluctant to let him go anywhere. I’m struggling a lot, with the current pandemic and having a newborn I feel like I’m drowning.

And this isn’t helping me. I’ve confronted him but he seems to think he doesn’t have a problem, everyone my age does it. Hang on I don’t?! each to their own, I’m not naive enough to think it’s all around, however I can gladly say I’ve never touched it, I don’t want to. And I have more of a hatred towards it now more than ever as it’s tearing our family apart!

He steals money, he lies! I’ve had it before when he asked me to pick him up at a certain time so I have and he’s ran away from me!

Please someone help me, I love him but I can’t do this anymore. I’m so stressed and upset and it’s reflecting on my children and I don’t want that

Any advice?!

Thankyou

[drained-and-tired]

Hiya,

No you are defo not the bad person in this, don’t ever feel that way! Your partner is choosing this life. He is choosing to stay out and get high, he is choosing that over you and he’s children. Drug users are selfish and they no how to manipulate situations to help there needs. They play with our emotions and drain any form of happiness and life from us just so that they can get there next fix. I.find coming on here helps me when my emotions get bad. I am going through the exact same as you so don’t feel alone. I’m here to chat xx

[daniiboi]

Hi Thankyou for your reply it’s very comforting knowing I’m not alone! I only come across this forum last night but after reading things I realise it’s a serious problem for a lot of people it’s such a shame. Can I ask are you still in that relationship? If so how are you coping x

[smh1987]

Hi Daniiboi,

I hope you are okay, please do not think anything to do with this is your fault, your partner has choices and they make that choice, I am in the same boat he chose it over me and his children from another relationship, that shows you how powerful it is what you are dealing with, reach out to people on here and YouTube is a great place to understand addictions, also if you look for a guy on here called Danman he is brilliant to talk to as he can give you clarity from an addicts perspective, you have a new born and 6 year old keep all your focus on you and then lovely, do not give any money as it will enable him to do it, Take care of yourself! ❤️ Xx

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